Peregrin Tugwood's Guide To Looking Great (and Feeling Fine)

Peregrin Tugwood was the great nephew of Sacharissa Tugwood, who pioneered cosmetic and beautifying potions in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. While following his great aunt's approach to beauty, Peregrin was known to take a more holistic approach to the concept, also concentrating on muscle definition, stress-free demeanor, quick wit, and memory. Tugwood's Guide to Looking Great! (And Feeling Fine) was first published in 1965, but quickly had multiple re-printings. It appears here in its most recent publication from 1993, and includes any corrections or additions to the original recipes.

Last Updated

05/31/21

Chapters

20

Reads

6,112

Metabolic Potion

Chapter 6
Metabolic Potion

Estimated Brewing Time:
121 minutes

Ingredients:
Five hundred (500) ml Shrake oil1
Two (2) Plimpy legs2
One (1) avocado pit1
One (1) frozen Ashwinder egg1
Four (4) coffee beans2
Six (6) grains of Merovingian Jumping Rice2
Five (5) almonds3
Three (3) cocoa beans3

Instructions:

Part One:

1. Add 250ml of Shrake oil and bring the temperature to 378 Kelvin (105°C/221°F).
2. Add two Plimpy legs to the cauldron.
3. Stir twice counterclockwise.
4. Let the potion brew for 43 minutes.

Clear with a yellow tint; brown; rotten fish

Part Two:

1. Add one avocado pit.
2. Let it brew until the steam changes from brown to orange and then eventually pale blue (about five minutes).
3. Add one frozen Ashwinder egg.
4. Add two coffee beans and three grains of Merovingian Jumping Rice to the mortar and crush to an even powder.
5. Add the contents of the mortar to the cauldron.
6. Stir twice clockwise.
7. Let the potion brew for 34 minutes.

Pale green; sky blue; jasmine

Part Three:

1. Add three almonds and two coffee beans and crush to an even powder.
2. Add the crushed contents of your mortar to the cauldron.
3. Increase the heat to 393 Kelvin (120°C/248°F) and stir four times counterclockwise.
4. Reduce back to 378 Kelvin (105°C/221°F) and stir twice clockwise.
5. Add three grains of Merovingian Jumping Rice and three cocoa beans to your mortar and crush it to an even powder.
6. Add the contents of the mortar to the cauldron.
7. Let the potion brew for 18 minutes.

Forest green; navy blue (gold and red sparks); peanuts

Part Four:

1. Add 250ml Shrake oil to the cauldron.
2. Add two almonds to the mortar and crush to an even powder.
3. Add the contents of the mortar to the cauldron.
4. Increase the heat to 393 Kelvin (120°C/248°F) for six minutes and reduce back to 378 Kelvin (105°C/221°F).
5. Stir four times clockwise.
6. Remove from the heat and store.

Olive green with pale yellow streaks; clear; espresso

To Store:

The potion should be stored in direct sunlight, preferably in a warm environment. It usually lasts up to eight months when stored properly. However, when a thin layer of oil separates and forms on top of the potion, this is an indication that it has expired and should be discarded.

To Use:

Sixty ml of the Metabolic Potion can be safely taken orally once a week. Some will take the potion on its own, although it can also be added to a beverage. The potion tastes a little like chocolate and peanut butter with a hint of fishy aftertaste.

The taker will see an increase in metabolism within two days after initial use. Side effects include hot flashes, increased heart rate, difficulty concentrating, altered mood and temperament, and headache. In some, the potion has been known to cause digestive problems.

Caution:

The potion should only be taken under observation of a licensed healer. Taking the potion without proper observation can lead to heart attack, stroke, and fever. In some cases, it has led to magical spontaneous combustion.
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